Encouraging a Loved One to Take a Hearing Test

Imagine that you’re trying to make dinner plans with your partner. You’re discussing the possibility of going to a restaurant, but you have to repeat yourself over and over as you try to make the decision. You’re both getting frustrated at the slowness of the back and forth, and eventually you just decide to stay in.

This isn’t unusual; your partner has been wanting to stay in more often than not, lately. They’ve been declining invitations from friends and stopped going to their usual weeknight card game. When you do go out, your partner is quieter than they used to be and seems withdrawn from the conversation.

These are classic signs of hearing loss. As it becomes more and more a problem for them, it becomes more and more frustrating for you, as well. It’s time to have a conversation and do something about it, but what is the best way to bring it up?

Research the Benefits of Treatment

Countless studies have been conducted over the years about the negative impacts of untreated hearing loss and the benefits of hearing aids. We know that hearing loss is damaging to employment, mental and physical health, and relationships with those around us. Hearing aids alleviate most of the difficulties that hearing loss presents.

If your loved one is resistant to seeking treatment, it is likely because they don’t think it will make that big of a difference and will just make them feel “old.” In fact, the opposite is what happens more often. Untreated hearing loss causes a person to withdraw from life and be less present from moment to moment. Many stereotypically “elderly” traits have more to do with untreated hearing loss than they do with age. Modern hearing aids are very effective and can be inconspicuous. They return hearing to near normal and allow the wearer to be youthfully present in life’s activities.

Pick a Good Time & Place

The last thing you want is for your loved one’s hearing loss to prevent the conversation from taking place. Talk to them in a quiet moment at home or at a quiet public place. Sit facing them and make sure the room is well-lit, so they can see your facial expressions and read your lips to help them understand you. This is not the time to demonstrate their hearing loss, but to have an honest and comfortable conversation about the problem.

Discuss Past Situations When Hearing Loss was an Issue

Point to moments when your loved one’s hearing was a problem for them and/or for you, but not when things were emotionally charged. Bringing up a fight usually leads to a fight, so think of times when they were unable to hear the dialogue at a movie, or when the two of you left a conversation and they confided that they didn’t hear much of what was said. Bring these incidents up and say how they made you feel, and also ask your loved one about their experience of them. The point is not to blame your loved one for not having their hearing tested up until now, but to help them see that it is time to get their hearing tested.

Discuss the Difference Between Sight and Hearing

When we need glasses, we can usually tell. Things we used to be able to see are blurry, we have trouble making out text on a page, etc. Hearing loss is less obvious to the sufferer. Because of the way our brains interpret what we hear, we often don’t know what we’re missing. We might be missing lots of high-frequency information, but we don’t have an exact reference for what it means to be missing it. The high frequencies aren’t blurry, they’re just not there. Our brains fill in information around what’s missing which leads to mistakes in understanding. For this reason, it’s usually someone other than the person suffering the hearing loss who points it out to them. Because this is common, bringing it up can help avoid the feeling that you’re attacking or blaming your loved one. Gently remind them that the nature of hearing as a sense means they might not be able to clearly determine how well they are hearing from the inside.

Offer Support and Encouragement

If your partner or loved one is suffering from hearing loss, make sure they know you are there for them. You are on their side. Offer to accompany them to a hearing test. Hearing loss is not the end of the world, and with a new set of hearing aids your loved one can enjoy life as they always have.